Can You Understand Me?

I’m a native English speaker but there are days when nothing but the verb is coherent in other people’s sentences. Even when I was in high school, I didn’t really like using super new slang when I talked. It wasn’t that I was resisting being like everyone else. My desire when I tried to communicate was that no one needed a secret code book to understand what I was trying to say.

a bullhorn

Image courtesy of digitalart /

Now with the online games/hackers who use L33t speak, pop culture, and texting shortcuts, I’m screwed because I don’t have the same lexicon as everyone else it seems. For example, I posted on my Facebook page about how my wireless cut out but I was still listening to Pandora. Someone wrote the comments, “Buffering FTW!”

I stared at in and thought, are they dyslectic because I know WTF, mate but that is not appropriate for a response. (see if somehow I’m slightly more hip that you & you haven’t seen it yet)

My friend looks over, sees my befuddled face, reads the text, and explains, “For The Win, Melissa.”

Right, isn’t that just obvious?

Seriously, an acronym for 9 letters and 2 spaces? Are people wanted to be misunderstood? That’s why I am always on the look out for a better word to use that fits like the last puzzle piece when I talk. Maybe I’m retro in how I talk and but the meaning of word you can’t understand in my sentence, can be found in the dictionary and not some vague cultural reference that only the few plugged in people will get.

I guess my quest for a better word will leave me with a constant I-think-that-was-English face when speaking to those who don’t want to enrich their vocabulary with words that actually exist.




To become a published author one must ignore much of the noise around them, the inner critic, the outer cynics, the jaded, and the hopeless. These swirls of dissidence will do you no goood. Understand the difference between the anger and fear others have because you are reaching out, breaking out, and refusing to stay small. By following your dream, you are changing the pattern of most people you know; you are striving for something you truly want.

Keep your goal dead ahead, allow the voices that aren’t serving you to achieve your vision to dissolve and be left behind. No one but you can plot your course to get your dreams. Remember you are at the helm. So cut those anchors and explore the vast oceans of your fantasies.

Ahoy mate,

The Writer ~ Melissa

Perfection Devil

Nothing like waking up on a Tuesday (or for most people Monday) and realize that your to-do list never was culled. Oh, no, when you weren’t looking the dang thing bred like rabbits. Now with my 40 hour work week starting, I don’t have time to chase down the fury little rodents and get stuff done.

Yet in my defense, you perfectionist ego self that is nagging at me, I managed to finish reading three great books. So I may not have got more words on my work in progress done but I’ll get to it. Maybe this weekend was to allow me to take time away from the story so I can come back refreshed and ready to make the story move.

I know I am very hard on myself so I’m cultivating ways to let myself off the hook about my own personal deadlines. Though that may be my wish, every time I say something about being “nice” to myself or to “cut” myself some slack, in my ears all I can hear is a little dark voice telling me that I’m copping out, I’m lying to myself, and that I’m a hypocrite since I push others to complete their goals by sticking with them.

I must be gentle with myself because I need to keep me filled up with hope, love, and joy for me so I can overflow such sentiments to those I see, speak, and interact with every day. Deep in my heart that rings true. Because that is how I want to be treated and if I can’t stomach giving those responses to me, how do I plan on receiving the same things from others?

Sparkles and Love,




One Sixth

Here we are at the cusp of March. One-sixth of the year is up and how goes your New Year’s Resolutions? I dislike the word resolution when it comes to goals.

Every New Year before the ball drops people write down a list of things they want to change about their life. Articles spew around the internet and people flap their lips about resolutions yet nothing changes.

Let’s go down the etymology rabbit hole with the word, resolution.


  • early 15c., “a breaking into parts,” from Latin resolutionem (nom. resolutio)
  • “process of reducing things into simpler forms”
  • Originally sense of “solving” (as of mathematical problems) first recorded 1540s,
  • that of “holding firmly” (in resolute) 1530s, and
  • that of “decision or expression of a meeting” is from c.1600.

(Thank you,

Today, when people say they are making resolutions they seem to be anything but resolute.

Here’s what normally happens:

“They” say, “I really want to lose weight. So I’ll eat healther.”

After, if they’re lucky, two weeks, they are back to their old junk food slinging ways. Why because they didn’t break it down into pieces, know what eating healthier really looks like, and there is no real reason why they should change their trothlike ways.

Here’s what one of the things on my January 1 list looks like.

Send completed manuscript out to at least 50 literary agents. Most people would have written: I want a literary agent. Or worst yet they could have said, “I want my book to be published”.

One I have control over, the first, and the other I have not say in, the second. This distinction between what I can and can’t do is paramount. Because I keep this in mind I’m more likely to keep up with my goals for longer.

That takes care of the how to write it up but what about the other stuff on how to actually make a resolution into reality.

I love goals. They motivate me. They push me. Why? Because I check in with them on at least a weekly basis. If my goal is to write two full length novels at approximately 65,000 words I know I need to write 10,833 words a month or more to reach that goal. So at the beginning of each week my goal is to write 2,708 words a week or better. Why do I keep adding the “or better” after each goal? Because I know that there will be weeks and months where I don’t make the original “perfect” target number. On those times, I acknowledge that I didn’t make it and revise my plan. Which is fine. I’m still on the path of achieving my dream. I’m just taste testing and adjusting the amount of salt to go in the magic I-will-finish-it sauce of success.

But that’s part of my ability to keep true to at least a few of my resolutions (at least so far this year) is that I revisit and revise my timeline. And I allow it to be alright that I don’t get that magic number every time I have a check up. I made the rules and I can take a day off if I want to but I try to make it the exception and not the rule otherwise I’ll never complete anything.

So how are you doing this year on your yearly goals? It’s never to late to dust them off and begin again. You still have over 83% of the year left to work on them.

If you are keeping your resolutions, what’s your secret ingredient? How do you keep focused? Any sage advice for the rest of us.

To achieving my dreams,


Made of Rubber

Day-to-day life can wear one down. We have to-do lists pages long. Cars break, loved ones disappoint us, and yet we find the ability to put one foot in front of the other. Where do we get this bounce back muscle? Can we improve our “get over it” instinct?

One of the best ways to help me keep going when the lights feel dim and I’m stumbling, is gratitude. Even when I’m at the bottom, I can normally muster up one thing that I can feel good about. Granted, while wallowing in my mud bath I may get angry at that notion that there’s something to be grateful for but I just repeat it over and over again. In that sliver of time, the light shines on me and I feel a little bit better.

So it is important to find that little bounce in your step, that can remind you that this too shall pass. Go for a walk, talk to a friend, or dare to find a little smile hiding around you waiting to be found.

Score I totally found silly string,


Secret Sauce Treasure Hunt

My little linear mind loves to make goals, to-do lists, and the such. But when it comes to this creative game called art, my neat little organizational mind needs to go into hibernation. The lists can suck fun and creativity right out my ear. So how can I make a satisfying meal for both sides of my brain?

I haven’t found the secret sauce ingredient yet but here’s what I’ve found thus far:

  • Set goals with creative things as my reward.

(For example, I wanted to start reading the long In Death series by J.D. Robb but I know once I start a series, I will inhale the whole thing without coming up for air. If I did this I would get through the series but have no writing done of my own to show for it. SO now once I finish a large task while working on my book I get a treat; I get to read the next book in the series. Win-win, in my book (yes, pun was totally intended).)

  • I must open the document up every time I’m at my computer. And if at the end of the day I’ve haven’t done anything on it, I’m OK with it because I at least opened it and maybe reread a few paragraphs.

(Sometime it’s good enough to allow my mind to mull things around in my subconsciousness without me trying to strong arm it to do something.)

  • It’s fine if I watch cartoons, comedies, and do things that bring me joy instead of writing that day.

(I do this because my reason to write is to be in joy not because some mass market is dictating that what I’m writing will be perfect for this year’s latest and greatest writing trends.)

  • Appreciate being a noncontracted author.

(Seems hinkey, I know, since I am trying to get an agent/publisher to pick me up but I cherish this time because I decide what I want to write or how I write. There are no demands on my skill. Bliss is my only goal with my pen and story. I am my audience so if I don’t enjoy it neither will anyone else.)

I am excited to keep forging ahead chopping down the jungle as I go along. Some days will be easier than others but I above all write because words are my dear friends that can light up someone’s day. When the days get bogged down I just need to channel the joy and reflect on it from time to time.

Words are my life boat in this sometimes crazy world,


Pants on Fire

A conversation I had recently was about being right or being kind, couldn’t be more dead on than when I walked into work this morning. Why is it when you are on your last thread of patience and sanity, that the world decides that you need to go deeper into the work? Because this letting go shit sounds so simple yet it is the hardest struggle we endure. And you know what? This is a self-induced struggle because we get into our own way. The more anger and frustration that bubbles up and threatens to erupt the harder it is to feel the joy. The sounds of harps and angels becomes a mighty roar of anguish and pain in my ears. Then be kind or be right vibrates and shifts my atoms and for a moment, a brief interlude, the roar dies away and love flows in to heal the rage.

    Some days what we do feels like self-induced torture but I know its only because we refuse to float through our physical journey in life. We grasp life with both hands and go for the ride of our lives refusing to live on autopilot. But because we do so and are surrounded by drones it feels harder, tougher, and gritter but in the end we can truly live to our fullest potential.
Too damn deep for a Monday but with love,