Through a discussion with my friends we stumbled across the notion of being right or being kind. In situations where emotions are charged it is easy to rage about being right and this being wrong. But what if we choose instead to be kind? Is there a way to bring love and kindness into any emotional charged conversations? Can I express my frustration and disappointment without being right?
At work I got an email questioning a decision that was made that I had been for weeks going around and double checking everyone was alright with. Now it is less then a week away and a light bulb went off in someone’s head and yep as I had been trying to avoid, there is a huge problem that if they would have listened to me we could of fixed easily weeks ago. So here I am with a massive problem and little under a week to repair the damage. I heard roaring in my ears, my hands ball up, I just want to scream out my frustration. Then a quiet nymph whispered “be right or be kind.”
My body responds my letting go of the anger balled up inside. The options are laid out in front of me: am I to be of service and help fix it OR do I hold onto my righteous anger because this could have been avoided if only they had listened? It is so much easier to hold onto what feels like the high ground and sneer at their stupidness but that feels horrible to cut myself off from my coworkers. So the option must be: be kind. Time to roll up the sleeves and do the work. Sweep up behind them and find answers to remedy the situation.
All in all being kind may feel harder to do, in the beginning, but with time this becomes an easier and faster reaction. Plus all that energy that I would of held onto can now relax and create a better environment to be in.
The joy of writing for me is not only because I love to write but the milestones along the way that I can see that I’m achieving. When I finish my first draft, my first round of editing, my scene conflict analysis, or any other justifiable reason, I celebrate. Because writing a book has so many build it spots to celebrate it is a great motivator for me. I can continually push myself to do the work because there are solid goals imbedded in this quest.
I take what I can control and I focus on that. People may disapprove of my work or thinks it’s the worst thing ever, their criticism may sting but I do my best. What they think of my work is out of my hands and there isn’t anything I can do to change their minds so why should I worry about them? Here’s a few things when I get down about the feedback I get, I ask myself:
Do you enjoy what you are making?
Do you love the story you are telling?
If the answers are both, yes, then that’s really what’s important. Follow your own internal integrity. What everyone else thinks becomes less important if you follow your inner bliss. Then when done with a piece pop a cork, pass the bubbly, know you did your best, and let it go.
Finding new reasons to celebrate,
PS Always have a bottle on hand, just in case for when your brilliance strikes.
With work dead in its tracks nothing seems to be working. So I went back to the characters. Flesh them out and nail the story line down a little more then I realize that the entire viewpoint is part of the problem. Though I normal am a fan of third person this story needs to be done in 1st person. Twenty thousand words in and I am going back to change it. It is tedious but I know it will be well worth it. My hope is that once I change it my hesitation to actually do the work fades. I want this story out of my brain and on the page.